Over the past 2 days after receiving the news of Gail’s devastating and tragic stroke, I have been able to think over a multitude of memories that have brought both smiles and laughter along with the sadness and tears. Where does one begin to describe the amazing and truly wonderful person that Gail was. A person who never met a stranger, opened her home to countless friends and friends of friends and then friends of those friends of friends. And if you were lucky enough to be related to or part of the vast circle of close friends that Gail and Avi had, her kindness and generosity knew no bounds. Gail was the most giving of individuals, which is not necessarily the norm in today’s world. When I think back from the time that Gail and I were very young, she was the epitome of kindness and generosity towards all.
Growing up, Gail was the carefree one who was never afraid to try new things, especially if there was an adventure to be had. I, on the other hand was the cautious anxious one… a compliant rule follower in contrast to Gail‘s free spirit attitude of “let’s push the limits to as far as we can see”. You might be surprised to know that Gail was a very rebellious teenager. At the age of eight. she was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy and struggled with seizures through out her childhood and teenage years. This caused great friction in the household between she and my mother who was overprotective a.k.a. Controlling in today’s verbiage. Gail went to boarding school when she was 16 in Stamford, Connecticut, a posh New England program for kids who pushed boundaries a little too far. There she learned to perfect the art of wearing mascara and eyeliner while learning to smoke weed… much to the family’s dismay. By today’s standards, this would be considered completely normal teenage behavior, but times were more conservative, and Gail was considered a near juvenile delinquent!
You only must fast forward to all the shenanigans that Yonatan, her son, pulled growing up… to know that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In hindsight I find this very funny; since as a grownup, you could not find a more responsible and cautious adult… I don’t think she ever even ordered a glass of wine!
Gail left home the day after high school graduation… She had her sights set on experiences and adventures that would take her far from her native Tulsa roots. Although Israel was always her final destination, she first moved to London, where she didn’t know a soul. When I think back about how Gail navigated the city, finding a place to live, securing a job working in a daycare center, not to mention, figuring out the subway system, I am truly in awe. Anyone who knows Gail knows that she has a terrible sense of direction and if it weren’t for her Israeli Waze app she and anyone riding in the car with her could be in serious trouble.
It’s no surprise that Gail quickly made a life for herself, finding friends who she then convinced to go with her to Israel, where they would become roommates. The details become a little fuzzy as to how she be found her way for a second time, securing a new job again working with young children and eventually joining an Ulpan to learn what would be her second and most important language. Within no time at all, Gail was connected to the Israeli community of young people… Ex-pats from all over the world who became her new family … Fast forward a few years when she met Avi and in that moment, her entire world changed. Avi and Gail met through a mutual friend, and I think Gail would say that meeting Avi was the very best thing that ever happened to her. Together they built a life and created a family where they shared the same values including a mutual love of their children always putting them as their first priority. Gail applied to and was accepted into Hebrew University’s school of dental hygiene. She worked for many years in no surprise, a pediatric dental practice entertaining the kids as she cleaned their teeth.
But as Talia Dana and Yonatan grew, Gail and Avi shared many amazing experiences of their own. We all know Israelis love to travel and Gail and Avi were no exception. Gail was always up for Avi’s adventures although driving Route 66 for the second time was where she drew the line.
Gail would also say that her greatest achievement was her three beautiful children. She was immensely proud of each of them and all they have accomplished. Gail was a selfless and devoted mother and nothing would make her happier than hearing from her kids and being an integral part of their lives. That’s where I would say Gail and I differed… our mother was the ultimate busy body who had this intense need to know any and everything even if it didn’t concern her. So you can see that Gail and I came by that trait genetically. But Gail rose above that and always respected her kids’ boundaries something I must admit I still struggle with. But nothing would make Gail happier than knowing about or being a part of everything that was important to them. Talia, Dana and Yonatan, we know that this terrible loss will create a huge void in your lives but just know that in addition to your Dad, there is a whole extended US and Canadian family that is here for you in anyway we all can be.
In closing I just want to say to you Gail, if you are listening and I think you are, I will miss speaking to you when I drive to work every few days to weeks. I will miss hearing your warm beautiful Hello whenever I call. You never failed to answer even when you were busy and had things going on. I will miss asking you for the tenth time how you make your famous Israeli potatoes and all the other important things my big sister taught me.
And speaking of potatoes, I am so grateful that David and I were in Israel in late March when you made Shabbat dinner for us. I believe we were six that night but there was enough food for 26… and when I asked Gail what all this food was… you told me that it was for the Israeli soldiers and that you did this every week… because it’s what Israel does taking care of the young men and women who protect their country. Gail, although selfishly I am sad I wont be able to visit you in your final resting place as often; I am so so happy that you are where you want to be in the country that you loved and close to your dear Avi and all your amazing friends who have been with you for over 50 years since you made Aliyah. Rest well Gail and know that I am so so grateful to have been your sister.